You know that Janet Jackson song “Feedback” from a few years ago? I love it! Whenever it comes on at the club (which is becoming all too rare, such is the sad fate of pop music that’s more than a minute old), my gay white friends and I grab our drinks, run to the dance floor, and proudly shout out the lyrics with Janet “LIGHT SKIN!” while raising our glasses and gleefully acknowledging that we are all, in fact, light-skinned. Within about 30 seconds, we’ve wandered off the dance floor because, come to think of it, we really only loved that one lyric about light skin. And when’s the DJ gonna stop playing this ancient crap and spin the newest Gaga?
If that scenario sounds ridiculous and a little unbelievable to you, you’re instincts are correct. I don’t have any gay white friends, please.
Hello internet, my name is White on Rice and I’m a rice queen.
What is a “rice queen,” you may ask? (If you are straight, not from the US, or have no deductive logic skills.) Well, “Queen” is a term when used to refer to a guy that means he’s gay, and “Rice” is most generally associated with Asia, Asians, or former US Secretaries of State. So logically, a rice queen is a gay… Asian? No, wait… that’s not right… Ok, this term actually doesn’t make much sense. I take back the dig about logic skills.
Simply put, a rice queen is a non-Asian guy who’s into Asian guys.
So that means when I hear Janet’s “Feedback” start playing in the club, here’s what REALLY goes down:
My gay Asian friends and I grab our drinks, run to the dance floor, and proudly shout out the lyrics with Janet “MY ASIAN PERSUASION!” while raising our glasses and gleefully acknowledging that they are, in fact, Asian. Within about 30 seconds, we’ve wandered off the dance floor because, come to think of it, we really only loved that one lyric about Asians. And when’s the DJ gonna to stop playing this ancient crap and spin the newest Super Junior?
What is it that makes the first scenario ridiculous and this second scenario a typical Friday night? Why do I feel more comfortable relating to a different ethnic group than I do flaunting my own ethnicity? Why are Asian men so damn hot!?
I’m a writer, not a psychiatrist, so instead of wasting time and brain power questioning these things, I’m going to embrace them for what they are and share my thoughts, observations, and experiences with the world.
Welcome to Confessions of a Rice Queen.
Oh, and to my fellow rice queens out there, when Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” comes on, you might want to take a moment mid-bridge to conveniently sip your drink lest you automatically react to her song as you do Janet’s and point to all the Asians whilst drunkenly screaming “YOU’RE ORIENT!”
That did not go over well last night.